If you often feel anxiety, anger, or emotional numbness, you may have gone beyond your "window of tolerance."
What is the "window of tolerance"
This is a state in which the nervous system can adequately cope with stress, explains family therapist Emma Shandy Enway. When within its limits, a person can respond to challenging situations in a balanced manner.
When you are overwhelmed, you are "pushed" beyond this window:
- Upper limit (hyperarousal) – panic, anger, anxiety
- Lower limit (hypoarousal) – emotional numbness, feelings of "disconnection," dissociation
Trauma therapist Becca Moravek emphasizes: it’s not about avoiding difficult emotions, but about being able to experience them while maintaining calm and balance.
Why is it hard to stay in the "window"
War, work stress, high parenting demands, and upbringing where emotions were suppressed – all of this narrows the "window of tolerance." Moreover, its size is individual: some people cope with stress easily, while others are thrown off balance by minor issues.
A person with a calm childhood and stable life has a wide "window" – a traffic jam won’t cause panic. But for those who have experienced childhood trauma, it is narrowed, so the same situation will trigger anger or anxiety, explains Enway.
How to expand the "window of tolerance"
Even awareness of this concept already positively affects the nervous system, asserts Moravek. Effective practices include:
- Meditation and mindful breathing
- Keeping a journal
- Limiting phone usage
- Walking outdoors
The key is regularity. These practices have a cumulative effect and gradually calm the nervous system.
"Find what resonates with you – a free meditation on YouTube, yoga, movement. These small things that we know but don’t apply really help," says therapist Carly Costello.
Moravek adds: healing occurs when a person gains new experiences that help reframe painful memories with support and other outcomes.
Why this is important
Trauma narrows the "window," making a person more prone to sadness and anger. However, expanding this zone leads to positive changes.
"By staying balanced longer, we have healthier relationships with ourselves, others, and the community. If a person is constantly in a state of hyperarousal, they may be angry, irritable, keep others at a distance, and avoid closeness," says Moravek.
It is impossible to remain in the "window" all the time – sadness and depression are natural. But it is important to be able to return to balance.
"Don’t be discouraged when you go beyond – even after healing, this can happen sometimes," notes Moravek.
